


What could have been

by keepmecoffeedup



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Best Friends, Goodbyes, Letters, Love Confessions, M/M, One-Sided Relationship, Sad, Short, Short One Shot, Sorry Not Sorry, Swearing, not together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-27
Updated: 2016-10-27
Packaged: 2018-08-27 10:04:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8397388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keepmecoffeedup/pseuds/keepmecoffeedup
Summary: I wrote this as I was drunk, I'm fucking sad and this is what I want to say to my best friend that once was. You can choose whose perspective it is from.This hasn't been beta'd and there are a lot of mistakes. It was written when sad, alone and drunk.





	

Im sorry that it had to end how it did.

We were inseperable.

Everyone said it. We were like two peas in a pod. No one could split us apart and though everyone speculated that we were a couple, it was never true.

And im being honest when I say that at the time, I didn’t think I wanted it to be true. I can say now that I realise I was so fucking wrong. You were my love. I loed you so much I would have dropped everything for you. And that’s so fucking scary and so fucking sad. Because we are nothing like that now. We are a broken shell of what we used to be. Me and you. We were a team, in it together, forever, we said. But look at us now.

We have nothing. We can’t even talk to each other.

There was a time when we could talk about anything, everything and absolutely nothing. We would sit in silence for an hour on the phone just knowig that the presence of the other person was a comfort. Now, that silence is awkward, uncomfortable, unusual. It used to be a relief and a joy to sit in silence with you.

All those times in school; in drama where I literally fell asleep with you stoking my hair because the comfort was so nice; on the benches where we would hold hands with each other because it made you closer to me; at the bus stop where we would hug for 5 minutes at a time to say good bye because I would miss you so much by the next day.

I was in love with you and I didn’t even know it.

I denyed it so many times because I didn’t know who I was when you did. I spent so long working out who I was that you found someone new. And I’m happy that you did.

But now it’s too hard for me to keep this up. I can’t talk to you anymore. Subconcously I’m hoping that you had/have feeling for me even though I know this isn’t true. You may have once, I will never know.

But what I do know is that I fucking miss you so much. And I can’t keep going on like this. It’s too painful for me. I loved you and even if that wasn’t reciprocated, that love will never change.

Thank you so much for everything you gave to me. All the memories will stay with me forever. You gave me the chance to learn who I was, even if it came with so much pain.

I love you, I miss you, but I will learn to cope with those two together now.

Good bye.


End file.
